Remembering – 2025

Posted on January 9, 2025 by malcolm

And when great souls die,
after a period peace blooms,
slowly and always
irregularly. Spaces fill
with a kind of
soothing electric vibration.
Our senses, restored, never
to be the same, whisper to us.
They existed. They existed.
We can be. Be and be
better. For they existed.

― Maya Angelou (from When Great Trees Fall)

It’s very cold tonight, and there’s ice on the roads, patches of snow. It’s not a night for motorbikes. But promises make traditions, and traditions take us out on the road even when it’s not a good night. But in the car, this time. It’s 19 years now, since my beloved friend Sarah died in the Marie Curie hospice. I promised never to forget her, and it’s the easiest promise I ever made. Each year, more memories surface, I revisit and remember the past – and she joins me in the present, I imagine what she’d think of my life, what we might have done together. As Maya Angelou said, I can be, and be better, because she existed.

So I do the same things I did that night. I ride, or drive, from the hospice past the flat she used to live in. I return home to a Christmas tree that’s still on. I hug Veronica, and talk about Sarah. We turn the tree off for the year. I sit down and write about her. I pour a glass of whisky. I exist. I am, and am better, because she existed.

Other posts about Sarah:

For those that didn’t know her, this is what I wrote after she died: https://www.skirnir.com/seolta/sarah/

All my posts about Sarah are saved here now: https://www.skirnir.com/seolta/

On Names

Posted on November 9, 2019 by malcolm

On Names

My father’s family are from the Isle of Lewis, in the Outer Hebrides, and many of my father’s generation and older were Gaelic-speaking. My father spoke Gaelic, but couldn’t read or write it – and I learned for a while but soon forgot once I had no-one to speak it with.

My mother’s family are from Elgin, on the mainland – and English speaking.

Between my mother and father, they named me for both grandfathers – Malcolm Campbell was my father’s father – James Spence was my mother’s father – so I became “Malcolm James Spence Campbell” – a name too long to fit on a British Airways boarding pass.

But when I was on Lewis, they’d often call me Calum – or if very annoyed with me “Calum Hamish”. Calum is the Scots Gaelic form of Malcolm, and Seumas (or Hamish) is the Gaelic form of James.

Both Calum and Malcolm are references to St Columba, who came to Scotland from Ireland in 563CE, and played a significant role in religion, literacy and diplomacy in early Scotland. His name in Irish was “Colm Cille”, meaning “church dove”, and in Scotland Colm became “Columb”. As he worked between groups of Ulster Gaels settled on the West of Scotland, and other tribes – I’m pretty sure he had two names too.

So through all of my life people have used both names for me. In some social circles everyone will call me Malcolm, and most of my legal paperwork uses that name – but in others many people know me as Calum – and I now have a bank card with that name on it too. Those closest to me use either name depending on context.

The other name you’ll find on this website is Skirnir. Skirnir is the “shield man” for the God Freyr, often sent as a messenger or to negotiate for the god. In the Poetic Edda poem Skírnismál, Skirnir visits the giants to negotiate a marriage for Freyr. In some versions of the poem he is threatening, in others he negotiates – but in all the meaning is multi-layered and complex.

I chose the name Skirnir as a subdomain under Demon Internet back in 1993 – without too much thought – I liked the mythological connection, and that he was a messenger and communicator. I registered it as my personal domain name in 1997. As I’ve learned more about the layers of Skirnir’s story, I see more reasons why it makes sense for me, and I end up asking more questions.

And I like questions…

Beginnings

Posted on November 4, 2019November 4, 2019 by malcolm

It looked like I hadn’t written here since 2003, and I’m quite different in many ways since that time 16 years ago. But in other ways I’m much the same. I’m still interested in how to empower people to create things together, and in personal truths, and in the intersection between spirit and engineering, and…

I guess I better write some more, or I’ll look back in 2035 and this will be the only post here.