(Originally posted at: https://www.facebook.com/notes/malcolm-campbell/remembering-2014/10150353671424995)
This year, Sarah would have been 40. This night, eight years after she died, I tried to take my motorbike on a ride to remember her, as Ive done most years. I’m on the tail end of flu, and I probably shouldn’t have been thinking of a long ride on the bike – but Bluhofi had other ideas anyway. Flat battery, he wasn’t going anywhere. So I took the car. Felt a bit weird driving in biking leathers, but I just wanted to get out, and retrace that route as Ive done every year.
I promised Sarah, in her last weeks, that I would never forget her – would always remember her. There isn’t a day goes by when I don’t think of her, but I don’t want to write about that bike ride again tonight.
Nor do I want to write about how we leave the Christmas tree up until she’s gone, the same as we did that year.
Tonight, I’m holding onto a different memory. Sitting in Sarah’s flat, after she was gone, with her mother, sisters, Syd… sharing a whisky, sharing stories, and remembering.
Remembering holidays with Sarah, remembering games, going to movies, sharing music, sharing my secrets with her, sharing her secrets too, sitting on faerie rocks in Crieff, exploring castles, sharing more music, being very annoyed by her and loving her anyway.. sharing the best New Year ever (and the worst).. being amazed at how many and how diverse her friends were, being amazed that she could think anyone could ever not remember her.
That’s what matters. Remembering. And I always will.
For those that didn’t know her, this is what I wrote after she died: https://www.skirnir.com/seolta/sarah/
All my posts about Sarah are saved here now: https://www.skirnir.com/seolta/